When I look out my window today, a day that would be considered cold in Georgia is what I see. I've heard the wind blowing throughout the night and although it is warm inside, I think of how cold it is for those having to venture out or live in such frigid temperatures. I've been doing a lot of thinking, planning, writing, reading... while on medical leave for an hysterectomy. I've also asked myself some very important, but not pressing questions. Am I wrong to be content as my life is today? The easy answer is, "Of course not!" And scripture supports this truth. But it's amazing how society shapes a perfect box that EVERY person should fit into or they will be considered INCOMPLETE.
Let me tell you, I have had little and I have had much. I have traveled just enough to know what's outside my comfort zone and to know I will do even more as life affords. In my mind, I have begun the processes of planning my life, packed with solid 3-5 year goals and long term financial and relocation goals... I really feel like a grown up. As I near age 50, in a little more than 2 years, I am shedding the pressures of needing the people around me to applaud my accomplishments. I have had all the "stuff" I have ever wanted, now what? For the first time I can actively seek my purpose in others' lives. What is it in me that God had in mind for others? How can I be a value to those around me? Not to be lauded or applauded, but to just share freely, even if no one even knows.
Relationships (family, friends, romantic...) take work and attention and above all, commitment. I have wonderful relationships, now. I can finally say that I have no forced relationships today -- those relationships that you know are a struggle to maintain and there is little if any value added on either end. When peace is your goal, it will become clearer who is or should be a part of the equation. I am gradually weeding out the "have tos" of my life. Some "have tos" will interchange or evolve, but some are unnecessary. My relationships are so much richer, especially with my son and old friends.
I live a full life and I really can't name an empty space. I finally see that I don't have to feel guilty about feeling content with my life. I'm still doing great things like attending conferences, getting certifications, taking classes... I'm baking and cooking more... With everything going on, the one thing I will say absolutely... I will always stay open to life, God's purpose and promises fulfilled. And in the course of it all, I remain COMPLETE.
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