You know, as the self-dubbed "Queen of Self-Reflection and Analysis," I have to say I really had a bad day recently. The day itself went okay, but... Let's just say that it didn't end in a way that I would be proud if I was being secretly taped. Now people who know me intimately, would tell you that I don't use explitives when I'm angered, but I have to say, what I DIDN'T say verbally THIS DAY was better kept inside!
When leaving the office, I turned to put my purse in the back seat and pulled SOMETHING in my back! Ok... Being a woman of a "certain age" I have gotten use to the tremors of change that happen once you "crossover" into the land of 40+, but this was certainly at least a 4.7 on the richter pain scale. I had little choice but to proceed on my with my drive home and I honestly was feeling sorry for the anticipated ungracious drivers and those who would dare to cut me off this day. All I could think was "God help them, because I am not THE ONE today!" And of course, the seldom courteous, tailgating, under-the-limit-in-the-fast-lane, Atlanta drivers did not let me down. There was a point when I was in such pain that I had to begin to coach myself and finally to pray...
I knew when I got home that my son would not be expecting "this WOMAN." Nor would he deserve the potential venom if God-forbid, I came home to a dirty kitchen or unfinished chores and any other number of options that could turn up the fire on my already boiling kettle. See, I remember well from less mature days, if I hadn't decided to meditate and pray, THAT WOMAN, would have been looking for something, anything to unload about. How many of us have been that person?
Learning how to diffuse, what could be disastrous outcomes for unsuspecting loved ones and even strangers, is very important to living life victoriously. Identifying our pressure points and triggers helps in this process. We all know what those triggers are, but often don't consider the long-term cost of not taking the necessary steps to control them. A kind, but new cashier at the grocery store, a shopper who accidentally bumps into you at the shoe store, a spouse, roommate, son or daughter who forgets one of your RULES, does not deserve a high impact attack, because you refused to diffuse. It is a decision.
We have no idea really who we are dealing with on a daily basis and the lasting effect our random angry outbursts can have on a person and honestly it is very selfish not to consider this. The cashier could have special needs or could be considering suicide. The shopper, could have recently lost a husband or child tragically... Learning to see each person through eyes of mutual compassion is perpetual -- moment by moment, especially if you have a history of self-absorption. I think we all do. We start out that way as babies, but there comes a point when we should realize that our behaviors and life choices affect everyone around us -- whether we want them to or not. It's all a part of God's plan.
For those who struggle with rushes to judgement and anger, allow me to share a few scriptures that have been a great help to me - print a couple and keep them in your pocket/purse to reflect on in those times...
Proverbs 16:32 He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.
Proverbs 19:11 A man's discretion makes him slow to anger, And it is his glory to overlook a transgression.
Ecclesiastes 7:9 Do not be eager in your heart to be angry, For anger resides in the bosom of fools.
James 1:19 This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger;
Remember that the intention of our words or deeds, even when we are disappointed or angry, should never be to do harm or destroy. Think first, pray first and always check your motives. As a parent, not wanting to raise an angry or fearful child, I remind myself regularly of these prinicples and it really makes the difference. Rumor has it, it works in marriages too. Thanks for stopping by.
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