On BEING Complete

When I look out my window today, a day that would be considered cold in Georgia is what I see. I've heard the wind blowing throughout the night and although it is warm inside, I think of how cold it is for those having to venture out or live in such frigid temperatures. I've been doing a lot of thinking, planning, writing, reading... while on medical leave for an hysterectomy. I've also asked myself some very important, but not pressing questions. Am I wrong to be content as my life is today? The easy answer is, "Of course not!" And scripture supports this truth. But it's amazing how society shapes a perfect box that EVERY person should fit into or they will be considered INCOMPLETE.

Let me tell you, I have had little and I have had much. I have traveled just enough to know what's outside my comfort zone and to know I will do even more as life affords. In my mind, I have begun the processes of planning my life, packed with solid 3-5 year goals and long term financial and relocation goals... I really feel like a grown up. As I near age 50, in a little more than 2 years, I am shedding the pressures of needing the people around me to applaud my accomplishments. I have had all the "stuff" I have ever wanted, now what? For the first time I can actively seek my purpose in others' lives. What is it in me that God had in mind for others? How can I be a value to those around me? Not to be lauded or applauded, but to just share freely, even if no one even knows.

Relationships (family, friends, romantic...) take work and attention and above all, commitment. I have wonderful relationships, now. I can finally say that I have no forced relationships today -- those relationships that you know are a struggle to maintain and there is little if any value added on either end. When peace is your goal, it will become clearer who is or should be a part of the equation. I am gradually weeding out the "have tos" of my life. Some "have tos" will interchange or evolve, but some are unnecessary. My relationships are so much richer, especially with my son and old friends.

I live a full life and I really can't name an empty space. I finally see that I don't have to feel guilty about feeling content with my life. I'm still doing great things like attending conferences, getting certifications, taking classes... I'm baking and cooking more... With everything going on, the one thing I will say absolutely... I will always stay open to life, God's purpose and promises fulfilled. And in the course of it all, I remain COMPLETE.

Love and the Single Woman

To date or not to date... As humans it's quite natural to long for companionship. The longing itself is far from harmful, but often we allow ourselves to be guided by the longing. Scrreeeech! Let's stop right here for a minute! Why in the world would you be screening applicants when you haven't quite finished developing the business plan? Simply put, you may not be ready for a companion... yet!

How fulfilled are you? Does having a man or woman in your life signify fulfillment? If so, quit that! LOL! I don't mean to make light of loneliness. Who hasn't felt lonely at some point in life? The goal is not to LIVE lonely. LIVING lonely is no LIFE at all. Some time ago, over 16 years ago really, I decided to divorce my 1st and only husband so far. I get questions all the time about how it is I am "still single". "What's wrong with you???" That's my favorite! *smirk*

I have dated a bit and even been engaged, but I do it with my eyes wide open. I have come to admire women who have remained single and fulfilled for any length of time. Not because marriage is a bad thing; quite the contrary... Marriage is beautiful when two people really "get it." But lop-sided love is way too prevalent in our society and some people refuse to be a part of that club. *hand raised* Being single has given me the "opportunity" to be a focused and engaged mom to my two children. I have also been emotionally free to love-on and care for my ailing mom until the moment she transitioned last year. My friendships have greater depth and value. My father and I have grown even closer. God is not just some fictional character in a book for me; I value people and myself through my spiritual growth.

Having God in my life has taught me and continues to teach me LOVE. The more I love myself the less cynical I am. And believe me I use to be one of the biggest cynics I know. I use to think every good that was done was questionable. My UNSOLICITED opinion was all that mattered, but yours was interesting... LOL! Don't get me wrong... I'm still opinionated, but today it's easier to allow love -- love of GOD, love of SELF, and love of OTHERS (pretty much in that order) to guide what opinions I share and how I share them. And I realized that I DECIDE who enters the inner circle - the most vulnerable place.

Love of self is how I guide my decision making and daily choices. God taught me how to love myself and that is a precious gift, because I didn't always love ME and it showed in every area. My focus now is finishing my book and being a success in all that God allows me to put my hands to, including my businesses and projects. Love of self has given me fulfillment. Now if in the course of living this life, God brings a man who knows how to love... I will receive him with open arms, literally! As you focus on fulfillment, love inevitably comes in various forms. #LoveonYourself #LoveonOthers #GodIsLove

Find Your Peace...

I haven't blogged for a while because I have been sooooooo involved in family needs and quite honestly there was little room for ME. I have no regrets about the hand that was dealt me, as I know that ultimately God's plan for me is multi-faceted and the journey has been great; replete with bumps and bruises. I lost my mom last October, after a long battle with kidney failure and congestive heart failure. Every moment she suffered in the end felt like someone was gently squeezing life out of me too. My mom was both my daily laugh buddy and "contender in the ring." We battled hard, but laughed harder. I knew my mom loved me and wanted my success, at times more than her own. I relied on her to just BE THERE and to HEAR me and she never let me down. I wrestled with her for years because I wanted her to WANT to live, but her body was breaking down and it was taking her strength in every way imaginable. My son and I just couldn't grasp how this giant of a woman could be whittling away before our eyes. I think we were both in serious denial until the very end.

I worked to protect my son from the seriousness and made sure that we went to spend quality time with her. At that same time he was finishing his senior year of high school and wanting to finish well. As many of you know, my son has had many academic challenges, due in part to being born three months early. 1 lb/14 ozs at birth, he overcame many of his challenges, but still struggles with spacial issues. His junior year he miraculously developed his own methods to become victorious in studying, so I was finally able to rest in that area...

One thing that was constant for me is that I realized that there were times that I had to set aside, no matter how small, to breathe and thank God for what was my TRUTH. Yes, situations may go wrong... Yes, you may have presumably fallen off track... Yes, outside forces like family matters, may be in disrepair. But we have to rest in knowing we are doing what we can and we have to trust God to be God... Not just in OUR lives, but in the lives of those we touch everyday. There is no peace in trying to be God for people. Love yourself and others, pray for yourself and others and do what gives you peace, not pressure. Pray also that God will show you how to know the difference. I pray this message gives someone RELEASE AND RELIEF.