The Fire Starter - The Price of Anger

You know, as the self-dubbed "Queen of Self-Reflection and Analysis," I have to say I really had a bad day recently. The day itself went okay, but... Let's just say that it didn't end in a way that I would be proud if I was being secretly taped. Now people who know me intimately, would tell you that I don't use explitives when I'm angered, but I have to say, what I DIDN'T say verbally THIS DAY was better kept inside!

When leaving the office, I turned to put my purse in the back seat and pulled SOMETHING in my back! Ok... Being a woman of a "certain age" I have gotten use to the tremors of change that happen once you "crossover" into the land of 40+, but this was certainly at least a 4.7 on the richter pain scale. I had little choice but to proceed on my with my drive home and I honestly was feeling sorry for the anticipated ungracious drivers and those who would dare to cut me off this day. All I could think was "God help them, because I am not THE ONE today!" And of course, the seldom courteous, tailgating, under-the-limit-in-the-fast-lane, Atlanta drivers did not let me down. There was a point when I was in such pain that I had to begin to coach myself and finally to pray...

I knew when I got home that my son would not be expecting "this WOMAN." Nor would he deserve the potential venom if God-forbid, I came home to a dirty kitchen or unfinished chores and any other number of options that could turn up the fire on my already boiling kettle. See, I remember well from less mature days, if I hadn't decided to meditate and pray, THAT WOMAN, would have been looking for something, anything to unload about. How many of us have been that person?

Learning how to diffuse, what could be disastrous outcomes for unsuspecting loved ones and even strangers, is very important to living life victoriously. Identifying our pressure points and triggers helps in this process. We all know what those triggers are, but often don't consider the long-term cost of not taking the necessary steps to control them. A kind, but new cashier at the grocery store, a shopper who accidentally bumps into you at the shoe store, a spouse, roommate, son or daughter who forgets one of your RULES, does not deserve a high impact attack, because you refused to diffuse. It is a decision.

We have no idea really who we are dealing with on a daily basis and the lasting effect our random angry outbursts can have on a person and honestly it is very selfish not to consider this. The cashier could have special needs or could be considering suicide. The shopper, could have recently lost a husband or child tragically... Learning to see each person through eyes of mutual compassion is perpetual -- moment by moment, especially if you have a history of self-absorption. I think we all do. We start out that way as babies, but there comes a point when we should realize that our behaviors and life choices affect everyone around us -- whether we want them to or not. It's all a part of God's plan.

For those who struggle with rushes to judgement and anger, allow me to share a few scriptures that have been a great help to me - print a couple and keep them in your pocket/purse to reflect on in those times...


Proverbs 16:32 He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.

Proverbs 19:11 A man's discretion makes him slow to anger, And it is his glory to overlook a transgression.

Ecclesiastes 7:9 Do not be eager in your heart to be angry, For anger resides in the bosom of fools.

James 1:19 This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger;

Remember that the intention of our words or deeds, even when we are disappointed or angry, should never be to do harm or destroy. Think first, pray first and always check your motives. As a parent, not wanting to raise an angry or fearful child, I remind myself regularly of these prinicples and it really makes the difference. Rumor has it, it works in marriages too. Thanks for stopping by.

The Homebody Escape

Greetings all! I pray that this week's blog finds you living the fullest life imaginable. Now... Let's get to it. There are as many singles lifestyles out here, as there are singles. Some of us hop on a plane and meet up with friends/family several times each year. Some keep their social interactions local and have every weekend booked in advance. We have others who are very active in religious and community organizations on the weekends. And then there are the "homebodies."

For years I was a self-proclaimed homebody. It's really great that homebodies like hanging out with themselves, but in some cases it's a form of protection and place of safety. I, like many homebodies, built a fortress of solitude around myself. No one could get in to harm me. I knew that I too had all of my weekends booked in advance. I had a date every Friday and Saturday night with ME. And afterall, what is so horrible about that! I'm a pretty great person -- I'm smart, attractive, reasonable and I have a great sense of humor, right? People like me and search me out for advice and encouragement. Well... So what?! Really, so? Other people need to experience the "greatness" of you, don't you think? I hope so.

The joy of life is that we aren't the only living beings. We have to set aside our apprehensions long enough share ourselves and grow with others. The world is a huge place and yes the thought of what could happen can be overwelming, but life can only be an adventure if we make it one. And believe me there are few, if any, opportunities for adventure and journal worthy experiences in your livingroom with the remote or in a book. Books are great, but those are someone else's adventures. It's time to have your own.

What's one of the best ways to meet new people and not have to worry about "working the room?" VOLUNTEERISM. Start there. Find a cause you are interested in and contact the local offices to find out how you can help. The possibilities and opportunities are endless. You may meet some really great people and if nothing else, you release yourself from captivity. Start getting involved in activities at your church, something you like -- If you don't like it and it becomes more of a chore, than a time of sharing, then you'll quit and this may send you back to the fortress.

Another good thing to do is to visit your local "happenings" site. Add a few things to your calendar and pay particular attention to the FREE events. If you are like me and have very few nearby friends, FREE events in your city/county are ideal outings. Attend one or two each month.

Listen... This particular blog is for me as much as the next homebody. I'm getting out more than ever before, but I know I could do more. Remember, ABUNDANT LIFE exists outside our four walls and most often outside our comfort zone. Let's broaden our horizons and watch our territories extend as well.

See you next time! And invite singles you know to follow my blog!